Being a Mom is hard. So hard. On so many levels. On a physical level, just becoming a Mom is painful and destructive to our bodies. And then their are even physical pains after you have kids. Accidents happen.

Then the emotional side of being a Mom. We worry about our kids all the times. All we want is the best for them and for them to be perfectly healthy and safe. Our minds play tricks on us coming up with all sorts of scenarios about our kids. And the emotional bond to our hearts. Being a Mom is hard.

Then there is the Status for being a Mom. You have to be a Super Mom these days. So many things are expected of us. We should be able to do anything and everything and still look beautiful doing it. We can never falter. We can never be sick. We have to always be there for our kids and be perfect. Other Moms are always looking at us and judging us. Our family members watch us and judge us.

I want to be Super Mom. I was a Super Mom. But I have crashed.

I have PostPartum Depression. I have PostPartum Anxiety. And I am overwhelmed. This is what my Midwife told me today.

What does this mean? I have no idea what this REALLY means. But I can't get the ideas out of my head. I am no longer Super Mom. I am a failure. I have crashed and I don't know what to do.

I am to take Fish Oil, Calcium, and Magnesium. I have been asked to see a Psychiatrist and she and I will decide if I need to get on Meds or not. I will call to make an appt. tomorrow.

I feel like a failure. She told me I am not. She explained it is a hormonal imbalance. She told me I was an amazing mother and person for realizing something was wrong and doing something about it. She also told me she knew her saying all that would not change my mind....yet. She was right.

Why is there such a stigma to be the perfect Mom? Why is it so hard for us to ask for help? I cried when I called to make this appt. The receptionist asked me what the appt. was for and I started crying because I could not say the words out loud. We wonder why so many women get so bad when they have PPD. Well one reason would be because it is not easy to ask for help. People will look at you as being weak and imperfect. Yes, some will be caring and understanding and those are the people I need to be surrounded by right now. But I also know there are those out there who have never had to deal with this and will look down on me and others like me.

Why am I so embarrassed to admit I need help? Why am I so embarrassed to say I have PPD? The only people I am comfortable talking to about this is other Moms who have been through this. I can't even talk to my two closest friends because they ARE Super Moms. But then here lies the problem. Other Moms don't want to admit they have/had PPD either. So it makes it even harder to find someone to talk to about it.

What a sad world we live in when amazing women, Moms, are afraid to ask for help and afraid to talk about what is wrong when talking about it could be the very remedy they need.