I took the plundge. I made the call to my Midwife. After talking to my Ped this morning at Keira's 4 month check up, I made sure to call Susan and ask for the Meds.

So tomorrow I start Zoloft. Both doctor's agreed this was best and that it will be safe during breastfeeding and that I am in no way to even think of stopping breastfeeding. It would only make it worse for many reasons.

I am a little excited to have a remedy, but also nervous. First of all, taking any meds is a big deal to me. But one made to alter your chemical functions. And then what if it doesn't work? Then what?

I was told it can take 3-4 weeks. So no overnight fix. But the Ped said since I have never been on anything like this before, it might start sooner. My MW said I might feel funny in the head but to push through it and it will get better. of course if I have any "bad thoughts" to call her immediatly, but otherwise, it is normal. Not sure what that means, but I guess I will find out.

She wants me to start them tomorrow morning to see if they make me sleepy or wakeful. I want to start now. One day closer to being better, but I will mind her and do as she requests.

I also want to send out a big thanks to all of you who have sent me comments, PMs, IMs, and e-mails. It is amazing how many women have been through this. But it is sad that we never talk about this stuff. I know I am still very hesitant to talk about it with my husband (although we did have a good talk last night after my bad day. Another reason I agreed to the meds.) I have a great group of ladies that I am on a board with here locally (Hi ladies) that I have yet to post about. I tell them EVERYTHING, but I can't say this...not yet anyway. Some read my Blog and I am ok with that. This is all one sided. I am just not ready to post it to everyone. I guess that would be me acknowledging this even more and I am still not 100% comfortable with the diagnosis.

Anyway, I got the Meds. Have them here in my posession and will start them tomorrow. Wish me luck!